A little note: Covid-19 sucks, and some update about life.

A little note: Covid-19 sucks, and some update about life.

First of all, let’s pray that cover-19 will end ASAP.

Second of all, let’s all be honest 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and maybe a bit like a roller coaster ride with a full tummy. You got sick; mentally, physically, and emotionally. The whole ball of fluff wrapped in a box, at your doorstep as a surprise box of 2020. Why am I rambling like this, idk why tbh (what a rough start for a blog entree).

Hi welcome back!

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote a blogpost. This is not my “Okay, I haven’t written on my website for a while so I have to do it” kind of blog (yes, I did that before). I told myself that I have to make some adjustment in life, like a self-realization. Sounds so corny but f*ck it I don’t have any other way to say it. (Ps. Have you read the book “the subtle art of not giving a f*ck” by Mark Manson? I’m currently still reading it, still on page 84, but I’d recommend if you have no dates on the weekends, just like me, myself, and I). So, back to the topic again, this post is written just because I wanted to do it, no pressure, what-so-ever. Genuinely, I wanted to write something that bothered me these few months, in a hope that maybe I can say to whoever is reading this and feeling the same way that you are not alone.

During this past few months, I’ve been busy. Hmm… maybe I’d rather call it “I prefer to be busy” with life. Some short of distraction from what I actually was feeling. Being in some short of auto-pilot mode “wake up, go to work, sleep” and repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful that I still have a job during this pandemic, but that’s for another topic. What I want to say here is the reality of fading interests in experiencing life, because we were so caught up with being in auto-pilot especially during covid-19 with no travel plan to get out from the daily routine (or is it just me? Can 2021 come faster?!). If someone says, “Life happens, covid happens, just get over it”– well a slap also happens on your face buddy. 

Feeling shit as heck, I asked myself “why am feeling like this?”. “What is this feeling teaching me?” I thought, shit, what kind of question was that. And so, I remembered that I have this website, the long forgotten website. I was so focused on chasing the number of published blogpost that I forgot how to enjoy writing one anymore. I wrote many blogposts like I was working in a demanding newspaper company (except I didn’t even write that much and I was just feeling like that). 

Focus on your goal is great, but it is another thing when you feel happy with the journey, the ups and downs getting towards your goal. Well, at least that’s for me, because I realized that I felt more fulfilled when I could enjoy the struggles to achieve my goals/dreams. 

I forgot how to enjoy writing, while I knew for sure that running a travel blog has always been my dream. Even my website (the spice to my travel) slogan is “Let the journey filling the rest”, but even I forgot how to enjoy the journey myself. I kept distracting myself by saying “I’m fine” to myself while in fact I felt like a train wreck (with other life issue too). When I was sad, I’d say to myself that I wasn’t sad because other people had a worse situation, or any other reasonings that I kept telling myself. In the book I mentioned earlier, Mark, the guy wrote it, mentioned that we have to realize and feel in our shit show in order for us to work on it. 

So, when I realized that I should feel in the shit show, ie, I didn’t feel like to publish anything in my website, I stopped and just worked my way out from there. I’m still on my way figuring out, so I don’t want to push myself writing something when I don’t feel okay writing something, instead of insisting and telling myself (aka bringing some excuses) like “I’m just not motivated, so I should wait for my magic motivation to come out of the blue”. Well, now I can say that this is toxic, especially when it’s combined with my procrastinating ass. In fact, we have to do something or at least think of something first, then the motivation will come out. We do something that we value, then happiness comes as a byproduct. 

This note is all over the place, but it is what it is haha.

Since we are in this pandemic together, I made a little list of things to remind ourself about the little things that make us feel alive (down below). You can write some in your note or something (or not, up to you). 

Hopefully you find this rambling note an interesting topic to dive in, thank you so much if you still reading this till the bottom <3

Also, please be save and wear a mask 🙂

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. It’s the other way round for me. Since pandemic, I’ve been stuck at home, got nothing to do so I just busy myself in updating blog haha. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the mood, sometimes I feel low as well. I try to listen to motivation, inspiring things to let myself better. Life must go on, cheer up!

    1. Your comment really makes my day! 😍Thank you for stopping by Mba Velysia. I came upon you blog yesterday, definitely an inspiration!

      Covid definitely made us to realize something haha. I stuck with more work, and even less time writing, which made me feel ‘meh’. Been reading and listen to some more motivation (including your blog) to go exploring myself lately, this post is kinda as taking a step back to see the bigger picture. Life must go on indeed. Ah thank you so much for responding to this random thought! <3

  2. It’s not easy for us, but at the same time glad to know that you’re still here, write something on your blog, and trying to handle this.
    I’m just thinking about beach, I want to go there, my favorite one near my city. I miss the time when I can spend my time there, just me, myself, and I. Oh, I forget to mention the sea, the wind, the sand, the sun, and the sky.
    I hope everything will be fine for us. Take care..

    1. Ah Thank you Mbak Pipit.. That’s what I’m trying to do, writing here more often and finding the joy of blogging again. Covid has brought the combo, the best and the worst haha. I was just so focused on blaming Covid, and made all bad the excuses to feel better (ie. made excuses to ignore my blog, because I felt shitty with the pandemic and other life issue). From acknowledging the real problem, then I peeled the onion on why I ignored my blog. It definitely helped me back on track with blogging <3

  3. Life happens, covid happens…… and a slap also happens, LOL.

    Well, hi mba Aqmarina, this my first time visit your blog and dunno why I like it, feel like im not the only one who think like this and this is normal, I guess. When Covid hit the world up, i have nothing to do, blogging is the only thing that makes me feel happy at least for right now.

    Sometimes, i feel so scared for many reasons, cannot sleep well, and feel like im going crazy, but now I can handle it, even not one hundred percent but yeeahh… it’s feel better now. Btw, im not good in English, but i try to use it here, hehehe.

    For the last, I wanna say, semangat mba Aqmarina, even terdengar bullshit, but i really mean it ❤❤. Bahagia terus mbaaa.

    1. Aww, thank you Sovia for visiting and reading my random thoughts. Your comment definitely make my Sunday morning better 🙂

      I’m glad that we can help each other getting through this pandemic through blogging. I’ve been there with all the anxieties too, and the last thing we want to do is to beat ourself up with our own thoughts. You are not alone indeed, and we got this <3
      I'm happy that you're better now. Semangat juga buat Sovia!

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